When my mind stops screaming and the pain within my chest subsides then the opportunity exists for happiness. Before happiness manifests there is a quiet time, a peaceful calm where the voices of depression are silent and rational emotion processing takes over.
Happiness is a response, a physical and mental outcome, a manifestation of decisions made, a conscious and physical realization of emotions.
My shaking hands stop moving.
The creases in my foredeck relax and flatten.
The ever present tear drops go back down into the well.
A half smile curls my lip.
My eye lids relax.
My jaw unclenches.
There is a sadness in my soul that dissolves, I feel it first in my chest like a pressure has been removed.
How do I distinguish between the absence of depression and the presence of happiness? I don’t want to loose the relief that the absences of depression creates.
Happiness is a time when I can be there for others.
Happiness is when I am present.
Happiness is when I can express how grateful I am to others.
Happiness is when I can accept I am flawed but that is okay.
Happiness is when I realize I have a purpose and act upon it.