Cogitating on Compassion

At 3am I found myself awake lying in bed in Galway, Ireland, unable to sleep due to jet lag. My mind drifted aimlessly around, contemplating the previous day’s meetings. Eventually I found myself cogitating on what compassion is and isn’t. My thoughts were provoked by...

Moribund morning elocution

Why is it hard to change the way your mind works? Why is it hard to do the things you know will bring you the most happiness? Why is it that depression is the easiest path? Why does depression want more depression and drags you to its depths? I know that I must sit...

How I stopped losing my shit while kayak rolling

Stress makes one do strange things, instincts take over from sense. We react rather than mentally process situations and stimulus. In my experience the threat of drowning creates all the necessary stimuli to fill me with stress. When I am upside down, under my kayak,...

Committed to peace

Of late I have been dealing with the consequences of my past actions. To say I fucked up is an understatement of inordinate proportion. I can’t undo the past, what I did, what was said, what was intended, what damage these actions created. The events occurred at...

Getting ready to roll with the best version of me

I want to be a better kayak roller. I also want to be able to manage my depression better. I am aware that my rolling is limited by my physically and mentally capabilities, and that improvement will only come through working on both capabilities. The amalgam of best...

The repetitive nature of paddle strokes

I love paddling my skin-on-frame qajaq (kayak), I feel physically and mentally connected to the water when paddling it. I feel the skin move as the pressure of waves pass by. I feel the intimate connection of heel, thigh, and butt to the wooden skeleton. With each...

Let that shit go

My Lady and I spent the past weekend in Northern Minnesota. We were at a yoga retreat organized by our local studio. The location was beautiful. Nestled on the shore of Lower Whitefish Lake, replete with sandy beaches, beautiful sunsets and sumptuous accommodations....